Edmonton Oilers: Eight Sign of Oilers Withdrawal and the Cure
It’s tough right now, let’s be honest. It’s summer time. The kids are out of school, work is calming down, it’s getting hot out and worst of all? No Edmonton Oilers hockey. THE. HORROR.
This cannot be okay. How can you live without any hockey? It’s as if there is a huge hole in your heart. Why does there have to be an offseason in Edmonton, let alone anywhere in the NHL?
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Don’t fear; Oil On Whyte is here to help you get out of your Oilers Withdrawal. But the first sign to curing a sickness, a disease such as withdrawal from Oilers hockey? We must identify the signs and symptoms.
1. Excessive Sneezing
One of the first symptoms. You start sneezing like crazy, because you’re allergic to the offseason. Sneezing is a very simple way to just clear out any nuisances, such as the thought of no hockey. In reaction, to make things better, you resist breathing in air and pollen without Oilers hockey. Or, you know, you’re just allergic to pollen.
2. Your Oilers jersey sticks to your body
You love blue and orange, but when it starts to stick to your body, you become concerned. You try to take it off, but it just won’t. It’s stuck, and you don’t want to wear anything else. You embrace that Ryan Nugent-Hopkins jersey, wearing it 24/7. The worst part of it? Your skin starts to turn blue and orange. It’s okay, though, because it’s better than any tan you would get during (vomits) summer without hockey.
3. You hallucinate about the Oilers
You’re at work, in your cubicle, looking sadly out the window at the big, blue summer skies. Your desktop wallpaper is Connor McDavid, and your Taylor Hall bobblehead sits on the desk. Suddenly, a puck flies across your vision, and McDavid starts to talk to you. “Till October,” he says. You’re going nuts, because your computer wallpaper and bobblehead are taunting you. You must wait till October to see them in action.
Suddenly, Todd McLellan is standing in front of you, demanding you get back out on the ice. You hop over the bench and skate through Rexall Place. However, when you bump into your boss and spill his coffee, you realize you were hallucinating, and your boss was really asking you to get back to work. You’re losing it.
4. Excessive crying
You are hysterically crying now. You have no idea why, you’re just crying all over the place. Why are you crying? Because without hockey, there is no happiness. Therefore, there is only a waterfall of tears. It is horrifying, and all you can do is cry it out till October. You’re like Sidney Crosby (sorry to penslabyrinth.com), you cannot stop crying. Wipe those tears; the time will pass.
5. Extreme Excitement Over Each Piece of Oilers News
The Oilers signed Justin Schultz to a one-year extension. YES! The Oilers named their new arena neighborhood “The Ice District.” OH MY GOODNESS YAY! The Oilers will have a new orange alternate jersey. I WANT IT NOW! When the offseason happens, each piece of news you get is extremely exciting, even if it’s not the greatest thing ever heard. It’s because it’s SOMETHING related to hockey. You get a piece of the ice for some parts of the summer. To keep up with all your Oilers news over this long off-season, as well as during the season, come to us, Oilonwhyte.com.
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6. Watching Repeats of Oilers Games and Highlights
You’ve seen Wayne Gretzky‘s goals. Grant Fuhr‘s retirement ceremony. The Oilers’ highlights from their Stanley Cup Championships. However, you cannot stop watching them now. That’s all you do in your free time. You watch hockey repeats on YouTube, or worse, the NHL Network. HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF!?
7. Slips of the Tongue
“I’m in the mood for McDavid’s… I mean, McDonald’s.” “No running in the Taylor Halls, I… uh…” You constantly make slips of the tongue and say things related to Oilers hockey, on purpose or by accident. You will make the worst jokes and puns that Eber(le) existed, all because you can’t wait for Oilers hockey to return. Get your Chia(relli) pets ready! Ok, I’ll stop now.
8. Insomnia (Trouble Sleeping)
Your mind is constantly running. Will McDavid live up to expectations? Are we going to trade Nail Yakupov? Is Justin Schultz going to rebound? What about Brent Seabrook? Oilers, Oilers, Oilers! You can’t sleep; all you hear are skates gliding across the ice and Oilers news on the radio. You are up all night on Twitter, waiting for the next biggest piece of Oilers news. And you lose sleep to it.
Cure
So how do we cure this? Simple. A little bit of Oilonwhyte.com should do the trick. Like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter and visit our site each and every day!