8. San Jose Sharks – the demons of cap hell
You may be asking why I picked San Jose for last in the division and not Seattle. It’s simple – at least there’s a plan in Seattle whereas San Jose has a dubious distinction of not even being able to formulate a plan to get out of the mess that GM Doug Wilson has made them into.
You know how many teams in the NHL have one boat anchor contract they regret signing and would love a mulligan on? Well, the Sharks have four of them by my count. Logan Couture is being paid $8 million to put up less than 40 points the last two seasons, and let’s just say I wouldn’t count on him improving on that. Erik Karlsson, the blue liner who complained that he didn’t want to be on a rebuilding team, is being paid $11.5 million a year to be a defensive sieve the last two seasons. Oh, and his point totals have decreased by at least 20 points a season since he made the move to San Jose.
Brent Burns is on the decline, and he’s 36 and signed for four more seasons at $8 million a year. And then there’s the pickle blue liner, Marc-Edouard Vlasic, who at one point was a d-man who was great in his own end and could probably put up more supplementary points than any other stay at home guy in the NHL. Not anymore. He’s finished at -10 and -8 the last two seasons and his point totals have declined so bad he only put up six points last year. Six. And for those six points? He was paid $7 million, and will be for the next five seasons.
No team will take any of these contracts off the Shark’s hands, as each and every one of them are unmovable.
And, as if that weren’t bad enough, the one guy who actually earned his huge paycheck last season – Evander Kane – is now caught up in an alleged gambling scandal in which he allegedly tried to make a few bucks on the side by making illegal bets with bookies betting on San Jose to lose. Once this goes through investigation and if Kane is guilty, this will mean the contract is voided and Kane will be banned for life from the NHL.
What makes San Jose so bad is they couldn’t even rebuild their team if they wanted to. A team like Calgary at least has the option of a rebuild, San Jose doesn’t even have the option of a rebuild. Until these boat anchors are off the team, anything more than supplementary depth moves from the bargain bin is out of the question.
Doug Wilson has turned this team into the biggest clown show this division – and possibly the league – has to offer. If I had to guess I’d say the only reason he hasn’t been fired yet is because what self respecting GM would ever take this team over knowing it’s completely untenable cap situation for the next 4-10 seasons? I know I wouldn’t if I was an NHL GM, would you?
Is there any good in San Jose? Tomas Hertl and Timo Meier are still decent players, I guess. At least they were able to get rid of the swiss cheese of Martin Jones. If this team weren’t in a favourable climate, there’s no way they’d be able to attract any talent to the roster.
Best case scenario – Karlsson, Vlasic, Couture, and Burns get sucked into an alternate dimension and any trace of their contracts are burned up in a fire at the records building, Office Space style. Then their team can have a future. But I wouldn’t count on it.
Worst case scenario – The most likely scenario, the status quo
What are they to the Oilers? Supernova meat shields.