They said it couldn’t be done. We told them to piss off. Little did they know that the Oilers are in the rebuild for the long haul. How long a haul? Who the hell knows? It’s the rebuild, baby! After last night’s 3-1 defeat versus the Coyotes at home, pop those bottles! We’re going to miss the playoff again! We did it on fan appreciation night! Watch out, Toronto Maple Leafs. You guys might make the playoffs this year. A couple more years of the rebuild, and we’ll have your consecutive missed playoff streak glued down like Nail Yakupov‘s ass to the bench in the third period.
Think of all the fun things we’ll (once again) get to do when more than half the league is in the playoffs at the end of this month!
We’ll have more time to…
- preach the rebuild!
- think about taking a high draft pick!
- frivolously spend money on fringe players (forwards and defence)!
- think about offering Khabibulin a three year extension!
- DID I MENTION PREACH THE REBUILD SOME MORE? I WANTED TO BE SURE I GOT IT IN THERE
- talk about “toughness!” and “compete level!”
- not worry about getting our show run!
- say that we’ll be ‘active’ during free agency, but continue to overlook glaring issues with the roster!
- Just for the hell of it, we’ll sign another tough guy, because hey, Eager and Hordichuk worked out so well.
- completely hype up a player that we may or may not take at the draft, just because we think it’s fun to screw with your heads. This might be difficult if we don’t draft in the top three this year. I’ll see what I can do about that over the next eight games.
- draft someone within the Oil Kings organization because it’s something we’ve gotten comfortable doing!
- pocket-dial Ales Hemsky on the trade deadline, just to screw with him. What an enigma. Gotcha, Ales!
- talk about how this year’s Oilers are improved, even though numbers and memory says that’s not at all true.
So stay tuned, it’s shaping up to be a real exciting offseason once again. You can really tell that our hearts and heads are ready for this journey based on our extremely active trade deadline where we did as little to absolutely nothing as humanly possible. What, you didn’t think we were seriously going to gun for the playoffs this year, did you? That’s rich.
Enjoy the remainder of the games this year. On June 30th at the draft, I want you to know that we’re going to take the best player available in an effort to make this team a playoff contender sometime in the next decade. I can’t even say that with a straight face.
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